HELPING STRESSED DADS BALANCE WORK AND FATHERHOOD

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Should my organisation enhance Paternity Leave or Shared Parental Leave?

Explore which option is best for organisations and individuals

Parental Leave in 2025

Fully paid, extended maternity leave has become a cornerstone of modern workplace employee well-being policies, while, understandably, paid support for new dads, “secondary carers” and “non-birth” parents has lagged behind both in terms of the length of leave and the pay rates offered.

In the UK, the advent of Shared Parental Leave in April 2015 created some degree of momentum towards enhanced parental leave opportunities for fathers and non-birth mothers but progress towards creating improved gender equality through the mechanism of parental leave has been slow. Professional services sector have since led the way as part of talent recruitment and retention and the goal of a more equal representation of women in senior leadership roles.

In the UK, there is a debate about whether enhancing paternity leave or shared parental leave offers better outcomes for individuals, families and organisations alike.

Shared parental leave was designed to offer flexibility by allowing parents to split their leave entitlement. However, it has seen limited uptake, estimated to be around 5% eligible parents due to complex regulations and persistent societal norms around gender and the role of men and women in caregiving.   

By contrast, paternity leave - dedicated leave for fathers, has emerged as a simpler, more impactful alternative.

In this article I argue that enhanced Paternity Leave is the superior option, with Equal Parental Leave being the gold standard measure of support for new parents in any organisation.

Content

➡️ What Is the statutory framework?

➡️ Enhanced paternity leave is great.

➡️ But, equal parental leave is better.

➡️ Why enhanced paternity Leave is better than enhanced shared parental leave (SPL)

➡️ What does SPL have going for it?


What Is the Statutory Framework?

Paternity leave and Shared Parental Leave differ significantly in structure. While shockingly, the self-employed have no rights to any paid government support.

Maternity Leave

Statutory Maternity Pay for the first 6 weeks: 90% of their average weekly earnings (AWE) before tax, the remaining 33 weeks is the lower of £172.48 or 90% of AWE.

Paternity Leave

2 weeks Statutory Paternity Pay for eligible employees is the lower of £172.48 a week or 90% of AWE earning.

Shared Parental Leave

You can share up to 50 weeks of leave and up to 37 weeks of pay.

The actual amount depends on how much maternity or adoption leave and pay (or Maternity Allowance) you or your partner take. Pay is at the rate of £172.48 a week or 90% of your average weekly earnings, whichever is lower.


Enhanced Paternity Leave is great…

By offering dedicated enhanced paternity leave for fathers, organisations signal that parenting is a shared responsibility rather than a task solely for mothers and that they value and support fathers’ involvement in early childcare, with the associated mental health, family connection and domestic gender equality benefits that this supports.

Enhanced paternity leave challenges traditional gender roles and can help reduce the motherhood penalty—the career disadvantage women often face after having children.

Both the campaign objectives of the Fatherhood Institute and Pregnant Then Screwed focus on improving paternity leave to allow “6 weeks for Dad” - dedicated time for men to use or lose, not leave, such as SPL, that must be opted into.

https://www.fatherhoodinstitute.org/post/next-steps-for-our-6-weeks-for-dads-campaign

https://pregnantthenscrewed.com/why-we-are-campaigning-for-6-weeks-paid-paternity-leave


But, Equal Parental Leave is better!

While improving the length and pay associated with paternity leave is important, the major benefits are derived when organisations implement equal parental leave – offering the same pay and leave regardless of how you become a parent.

When coupled with a culture that expects men to take the leave on offer, equal parental leave sends a strong message about an organisation’s commitment to gender equality which can also enhance their reputation as progressive employers.

Better for equality

Equal Parental Leave is more likely to remove gender bias from the recruitment and promotion process. If your organisation cannot use gender as a way of judging who might take extended leave when they become parents, or perhaps be interested in longer term flexible or part time working arrangements, the motherhood penalty can be mitigated as judgements about presence and long term ‘commitment’ are much harder to assume and the bias against female hires is reduced.

Assumptions are everywhere as this young female colleague of my wife, Lisa, reflected to me:

“When I first met Lisa, I didn’t think she had kids, because I didn’t think a mum could do this job”

Simpler

Equal Parental leave is simpler from a legal and administrative angle. I think we’ve all heard painfully non-inclusive stories of non-birth mothers on paternity leave. Equal leave is inclusive of every type of parenthood journey, including adoption, surrogacy and single gender relationships.

Equal Parental Leave is the most common form of enhancement in the Inspiring Dads Parental Leave Database. At the time of writing, 127 out of 285 UK organisations offer equal, full pay parental leave, while 36 equalise materity and shared parental leave.


Why enhanced Paternity Leave is better than enhanced Shared Parental Leave.

When budgets are tight, and you can only afford to enhance Paternity Leave OR Shared Parental Leave (SPL) which one should you choose (and why?)

Sharing leave sounds like a really great benefit, doesn’t it? On the face of it, it sounds better at accommodating diverse family structures, including same-sex couples, adoptive parents, and families where one parent may not be biologically related to the child. It recognises that caregiving roles are no longer bound by traditional norms, creating inclusivity.

However, SPL, is problematic for a number of reasons.

SPL introduces greater complexity - parents have to negotiate within their relationships about how to split leave, typically birth mothers need to give up some of their leave to a spouse or partner and that partner has to communicate with their workplace.

For men the process of opting in to take their partners leave is fraught with societal and workplace judgement and discrimination…

Caregiving fathers face ‘social mistreatment’- they face mockery, are viewed as idle, struggle with friendships, face negative judgement and are viewed with suspicion. The “Fatherhood Forfeit” (Kelland, 2022)

Men who wish to be actively involved in family life voicing concerns regarding being perceived as ‘wimpy and girlie’ (Connell and Messerschmidt, 2005), a ‘sissy’ (Kimmel, 1994, 119) and a ‘feminine man (Locke, 2016; 199)

“Most cite fears of being discriminated against professionally, missing out on pay rises and promotions, being marginalised or even mocked as reasons for not taking time off.” BBC July 21, “Paternity leave, the hidden barriers keeping men at work.”

Combined with gender pay gap data that indicates that families are more likely to be worse off when a dad takes unpaid leave. We can start to see why, in heterosexual relationships, this often leads to mothers taking the majority of the leave, perpetuating existing inequalities, reinforcing norms and knowledge around child caring responsibilities.

In the next section I’ll talk about why Shared Parental Leave can be a good thing. But very few of the benefits can be realised due to low uptake.

Not only is uptake of SPL low, the UK government’s own research indicates a striking pattern that suggests that SPL is a perk for middle class white people.

“Parents who take up SPL and pay are more likely to be

•        older,

•        parents of white ethnicity,

•        highly qualified,

•        work in large organisations,

•        be on a higher income, and

•        have progressive gender role attitudes

•        are more likely to be married”

The Dad Shift Research


”The numbers are damning. Less than 2% of families use Shared Parental Leave - because it's too poorly paid, too complicated, and forces couples to take leave away from mums (which many are reluctant to do).

We used an FOI request to uncover that the 2% figure also contains deep inequalities. SPL pay is so low that just 100 people in the bottom 30% of earners took it last year. More SPL is claimed in London than Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland, the North West and the North East combined.”

Read more here.

Paternity Leave offers a clear and straightforward framework compared to the complexities and challenging societal dynamics of Shared Parental Leave.

For HR departments, managing shared parental leave can be a logistical challenge. It requires coordinating leave schedules, ensuring eligibility requirements are met, and navigating the transfer of leave entitlements between parents. These administrative hurdles often deter companies and employees from fully embracing shared parental leave.

Paternity leave, however, is simpler to implement and administer. The clear entitlement reduces confusion and ensures that fathers can take time off without extensive paperwork or negotiation.


What does SPL have going for it?

One clear benefit of Shared Parental Leave is that it’s more likely to support dads being in sole charge of their children – gaining crucial skills and confidence while creating a newfound understanding of the second shift and mental load.

It is much harder to be on leave at the same time as your partner when you are accessing shared parental leave.

Pregnant Then Screwed have in identified staggered leave as being key to helping to close the gender pay gap.

“I believe that if the Government were to offer fathers 6 weeks paternity leave at 90% of their pay, to be taken once the mother has returned to work, this would have the biggest impact on the gender pay gap and reducing discrimination in the workplace.”

I would argue that shared parental leave is better than paternity leave at accommodating diverse family structures. The big BUT is that these same benefits are also derived from equalised parental leave, but with the societal and social challenges described above. 


Conclusion

Given the choice between matching a maternity offer with either paternity leave or shared parental leave, it is always better to match with paternity leave and create equal parental leave within your organisation.

If, as an organisation, you actually want dads and non-birth parents to take extended parental leave you need to create Equal Parental Leave. If you don’t want people to take leave, offer equalise your leave via Shared Parental Leave.

Equalised parental leave is the gold standard in the UK.

The Inspiring Dads Parental Leave database has so far identified

👏 139 Equal Parental Leave offers.

👏 a further 87 organisations equalising via Shared Parental Leave.

👏 203 organisations in the UK who offer 6 weeks full pay for dads (ringfenced, not hidden within Shared Parental Leave)

👏65 Companies with at least 26 weeks, full pay, Equal Parental Leave

as of 1st August 2025.

By offering equalised, fully paid, parental leave, organisations can promote gender equality, enhance workplace culture, and enjoy economic and administrative advantages. As companies seek to attract and retain top talent, adopting policies that prioritise dads access to leave is not just a socially responsible choice but also a strategic business decision.

Shared parental leave, while well-meaning, has struggled to achieve its intended goals due to societal and practical barriers that discourage fathers from taking significant time off, especially time that they are not explicitly allowed to take.

Paternity leave, being simpler and more accessible, avoids these pitfalls and ensures that fathers can participate in early childcare without undue barriers.

In almost all circumstances ring fenced Paternity Leave creates much greater benefits than Shared Parental Leave by driving higher levels of uptake, fostering workplace equality, improving culture, and reducing administrative burden.

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Relationships, Career, Balance Ian Dinwiddy Relationships, Career, Balance Ian Dinwiddy

The New Balance Of Work And Fatherhood Post Covid

Writing for Thriving Talent, I have a look at what dads want, the impact of Covid-19 on both men and women and look at why championing dads at work really does matter in 2021.

The New Balance Of Work And Fatherhood Post Covid

Thriving_Talent_Logo.png

Happy Father's Day!

I've written a call to arms piece for Thriving Talent called 'The New Balance Of Work And Fatherhood Post Covid.'

I have a look at what dads want, the impact of Covid-19 on both men and women and look at why championing dads at work really does matter in 2021.

I talk well-being, equality at home and in the workplace and finish with 5 steps businesses need to take this year.

“Not only that, dads report improved mental health and better relationships with their families. The Fatherhood Institute Report – Lockdown Dads the Untold Story found that 65% of ‘partnered’ fathers “reported better father-child relationship following lockdown, rising to 73% among those who were full-time at home.”

As The Guardian reports, Dads have realised what they have been missing out on:

"If he’d been working his usual hours, he would have missed his son’s first giggle already. “That stopped me in my tracks,” he says. “I want these initial things. I want to see his first steps. I want his first words.”

It makes sense that happier dads will perform better at work and have better mental health, but supporting dads is also a route to gender equality.”

Photo Credit Bermix Studio v Unsplash @bermixstudio

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Career, Relationships, New Dad, Balance Ian Dinwiddy Career, Relationships, New Dad, Balance Ian Dinwiddy

Baby steps towards parenting equality

On International Men’s Day let’s recognise what needs to happen next for parenting equality

International Men’s Day 2019

When I was growing up in a market town in Somerset, dads went to work and provided, and mums looked after the house and made sure everyone was fed.  We didn’t know any gangsters, so my dad was the first person I knew who had a Carphone (back when The Carphone Warehouse seemed like the obvious name for a business).

He was a surveyor, out on the road in Somerset – calling in his reports over the phone to be typed up in the office. But despite the technology there never seemed any danger of being ‘always on’, technology was an enabler.

In fact, my dad even had flexible working – he scheduled his own diary of house surveyor visits and frequently made his schedule fit the away sports matches my brother and I were involved in on Wednesdays.

30 years on I can look back and appreciate that he had the type of hands on involved parenting opportunity that many men today are striving to achieve.

Flexible working and Paternity Leave initiatives are bound up together. They both represent potential opportunities to support the desire of a new generation of men to have greater involvement in raising their children and by doing so to move towards equality of opportunity in the home and the workplace for both genders.

There’s a long way to go to normalise equality of choice when it comes to parenting but on International Men’s Day it’s good to reflect on some of the key milestones towards parenting equality.

Key Milestones

  • 1999 Set up of the Fatherhood Institute – “a great dad for every child”

  • 2003 Statutory Paternity Leave

In 2001, Gordon Brown included men’s right to paternity leave in his Budget and, from 2003, male employees received paid statutory paternity leave for the first time.

  • 2011 Additional Paternity Leave

Fathers were given the right to take six months statutory paternity leave while their partners returned to work, in effect taking the place of the mother at home.

  • 2014 Flexible Working Rights

The right to request flexible working was extended to all UK employees with at least 26 weeks’ service with the same employer on 30 June 2014.

  • 2015 Shared Parental Leave

Shared Parental Leave allows you to share up to 50 weeks’ parental leave and 37 weeks’ pay with your partner. Each parent can take up to three blocks of leave, more if their employer allows, interspersed with periods of work.

  • 2017 Aviva set the bar high for parental leave

From November 2017 Aviva became the first UK firm to offer up to one year of leave, of which 26 weeks’ is at full basic pay for each parent employed by the company within the first 12 months of a child’s arrival.

  • 2018 NZ Prime Minister takes Maternity Leave

Jacinda Arden took 6 weeks of maternity leave while in office and then her partner, a TV presenter, became a stay-at-home dad to baby Neve, a great example of showing that no job is too big for spending time with your children.

When they became the first to offer 9 months full pay parental leave.

Daniel Cheung via Unsplash

Daniel Cheung via Unsplash

More to be done

I was amazed to discover that paid paternity leave has only been around since 2003 in the UK and even 15 years on, when a child is born the dad (or the other parent or partner) gets just two weeks statutory paternity leave paid at £148.68 per week, less than half of minimum wage. 

Shared parental leave uptake is very low:

Analysis by the University of Birmingham found only 9,200 new parents (just over 1% of those entitled) took shared parental leave in 2017-18. That increased to 10,700 in the financial year 2018-19.

Just as additional leave suffered too

“Just 1.4% of new fathers taking it in 2012-13. In 2011-12, the first year the scheme was in operation, just 0.8% of eligible dads took advantage of it.”

What can be done

Two things need to be addressed

  1. Financial constraints – Fathers are much more likely to already be earning more than their partners and therefore find it harder to take leave at statutory rates

  2. Cultural constraints – the question of where society, employers and men perceive they belong. Too often we casually default to assume men to be the main breadwinners and women as the primary carers.

The Labour party pledge in 2015 to double the length and pay of statutory paternity leave had potential to be a big step in the right direction  but has sadly disappeared to be replaced by increased maternity leave – to find out why that is problematic you’ll need to read this piece i wrote for Daddilife.

Moves around the fringes of government are important indications as to which way the wind is blowing – even if parliamentary time seems taken up with other activity…

October 2018

In October 2018 the government announced that it planned to consult on a bill that would require large employers to publish their parental leave package. Read more here

July 2019

Helen Whately, Conservative MP for Faversham and Mid Kent a introduced the flexible working bill, to make all jobs flexible by default unless the employer has a sound business reason why particular hours in a particular place are required. Read more here about what this #FlexforAll bill is all about.


Some good moves but in the UK we remain a way away from the gold standard of well paid, protected parental leave for fathers.

Why does parental leave matter?

Men Gain Empathy & Awareness of Bias

“Would my job be safe? What would it mean for my career? How would it impact my team?” Then, he adds: “It hit me like a freight train. These are worries that women in the workplace have been facing for generations”.

Source: FT – Time off for new fathers raises bias awareness

Not only that, but dads accessing parental leave has significant and long-lasting benefits towards equality in the household.

In households where men were given the opportunity to use this benefit, fathers’ daily time in household work was 23 percent higher, long after the leave period ended. 

Source: Council on Contemporary Families

Well paid protected leave is a key part of breaking cultural assumptions which perceive childcare as a woman’s job, it supports equality of choice in families and is good for mental health, relationships and women’s income prospects.

On International Men’s Day we should be setting the bar much higher than 2 weeks of below minimum wage leave.

It does nothing for families, for fathers or for mothers.

This is what society and business needs:


  1. Day one flexible working as a default position for all. #flexforall

  2. Equalise parental leave provisions for new parents.

  3. Provide men with paternity coaching before and after their leave.

  4. Identify and support senior fatherhood role models.

  5. Create and support fatherhood community initiatives in the workplace.

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Ian Dinwiddy, Founder

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