Imagine a situation when a primary school needs to contact a parent. A staff member opens the contact management system, searches for the child and is presented with two contact names (in order of priority)

1) the dad
2) the mum

The obvious thing to do is to phone the 1st contact.

Afterall they are listed first.

Too obvious it seems.

Today instead of calling the dad (aka me), the member of staff called the mum (aka my wife).

It wasn't a mistake, it was a choice and a choice that I've seen before and today, like the last time, I later asked for clarity as to why I wasn't called - was there some sort of error in the listing on my daughter's file?

Nope, no error.

I explained that it was important that the school called me first, there’s a reason I’m listed first!

Naturally, I got an apology, they got a gentle reminder about equality.

Turns out I’m not alone in experiencing this type of casual discrimination against dads…

“Yep, I had the school apologise for not having mum's phone number (there isn't one) and calling me.”

“We had the same experience with the Doctors last week. My husband had taken on getting repeat asthma meds for my daughter and the call back came to me despite him leaving his number.”

“Yes, that used to happen to me too. Hubby full time stay at home dad, me full time at work. And they always called me to be asked “have you called my husband?” Stereotypes so embedded.”

My husband took our son for his 8 week jabs as it was my birthday and I had gone for a spa day with a friend.... the nurse asked him where mum was as he walked in the door, then called me to gain consent to immunise our son 🙄 Yes - a complaint went in!

One thing is certain, gender equality is as much about Dads and fatherhood being taken seriously as it is about leaning in and well-paid maternity leave.

If you want someone to speak at your event and explain why supporting dads at work is a route to gender equality then drop me a message.

Picture Credit:Tim Mossholder via Unsplash @timmossholder